Hyperboolean Blah Blah

You’re not depressed…you’re just disappointed. ok? so suck it all up! - talking to myself. so how do I pat my back? hmmm

I can’t seem to sleep…and I don’t even know why, is it because im more nocturnal now or is it because an idea is actually nagging inside my head?..I think that both might be true. Yes, work has made me more nocturnal, awake when most people are sleeping and vice versa, but i think it is true as well that, figuratively, an idea has been eating away every working neuron inside my skull. Think of it as a show stopper. I go to the mundane necessities of this life and then suddenly I stopped..just like in a train station, where u get caught sometimes in the flow of commuters. I suddenly realized, is this where I’m headed? Is this what I really want? Now this is not new, when I first decided to change direction, because I change my mind too often, and so I thought this is just a phase, like so many ideas that has crossed my mind..but I was wrong, this one is persistent..and so I thought, will I veer away again? And I picture myself again standing in the middle of the train station, people nudging me, pushing me to where they’re going. Do I always need a push? Have I been picking the wrong choices people want me to make? And then I saw an airplane taxi the runway, and realized i was lost deep in thought. I thought I need to get out of the country. Never mind what other people will say, never mind what they want because its all about me. Me myself and I. And so I shall ride a plane again, and get out of the country. Thats decided…only question is how soon?